A while back, I bought an orchid.
Well, actually, our cat Franny got the orchid for my girlfriend for Mother’s Day. Ya know. Like normal.
Either way, there was an orchid in our lives. And we were happy.
We put it up in our apartment and we were so proud we could hardly contain ourselves.
We felt like we had joined the elite of fauna ownership – the special forces of flower-keeping.
There’s a status that comes with orchids, after all. They’re not geraniums. They’re not even tulips. They don’t come little packets at the checkout counter of Home Depot. They don’t exist in most gardens you come across. There are entire organizations and websites and all manner of things devoted to devotees of the strange flowering plant.
Therefore, they must be better. They must be grander. They must be hipper, cooler, rarer, weirder, and more fun. Right?
We thought so.
It was good for a spell – we watered it with a little ice cube once a week like the instructions told us. Sure, we’d forget sometimes, but we’d always manage to get that ice cube in there only a day or two after we were supposed to. Then it happened – the orchid got sad.
The leaves started to wither. The roots started to flake. We tried more water. We tried less water. We tried more sunlight. We tried less sunlight. We scoured the internet for blogs and followed countless steps attempting to revitalize the poor cat’s Mother’s Day gift.
It was not to be. The blooms did not return so we decided to let it go. We placed it on a shelf and forgot about it. We had fallen from the elite ranks of orchid owners to the level of sad normal people.
A few days ago, however, Becca came home with a new orchid in her arms. We were to be elite once more! We’re being extra vigilant with this guy and following the instructions to the letter in order to keep him alive as long as we can.
But when I picked up the old orchid plant to throw it away, the leaves were still green!
Could this plant be fighting for its life still? After weeks – nay, months! – of not watering it regularly? I was perplexed, to say the least. Yet there they were – bright green, beautiful leaves!
Enter the orchid guilt.
I couldn’t bear to throw away this old plan when it still has the tiny glimmering possibility of wick inside it!
So now we have two orchids. One with flowers and one without.
I guess it just makes us super-elite now. 🙂